• get a bunch of these mobile credit card readers and prepaid android-based phones into the hands of our panhandling and busking communities. (most of the time when I’m asked for change, I simply don’t physically have it on me. I do have a dozen credit cards, though). see what happens.

• take all the weird black-and-white segments from infomercials meant to portray an inferior version of the product being advertised (i.e. a woman’s press-on nails dramatically falling off while sending an SMS on her telephone, or someone fucking up their pancakes by not using the pancake wizard 7000, etc) and edit them to run chronologically in silence. alternately (or perhaps in conjunction) start a silent web archive of the clips without context.
• start bcc’ing amanda j. eicher in every email I send without informing the recipient.
• put up a sign that says “keep on median” next to the sign reading “keep off median” on the grassy median across from the cheeseboard where everyone sits to eat. or, create so many “keep off median” signs to put on the median that no one will be able to sit on it. or, intentionally run over everyone sitting on the median with my car and become known for attempting to use what the media will later dub “the art defense” in my trial.

figure a:

& figure b:

new day, new ideas. moving lights, amorous feelings.

• idea one: smoke detector that can only detect the smoke of a burning cross in norway. this detector is to be constructed out of black metal.
• idea two: a “black metal detector” (metal detector painted black) with a small linux box loaded with a waveform analyzer that will only beep when Darkthrone or Burzum or Mayhem starts playing
• idea three:  co-write screenplay about judah maccabee with the coen brothers and get steven spielberg to direct. stipulation: film must be released on same day as mel gibson’s forthcoming film of the same subject.

hello. it is september. here are some ideas.

• two 10 by 10 ft drawings of tumors, stippled, facing one another on opposing walls, one labeled ‘bad,’ one labeled ‘not bad.’
• water in rectangular bottles of primary colors, labeled “de stijled water”
• five oversized gumball machines set next to one another: one is to house containers of 10mg each methylone ((±)-2-methylamino-1-(3,4-methylenedioxyphenyl)propan-1-one) placed inside of the kind of two-piece plastic balls that have “prizes” in gumball machines at supermarkets, arcades, etc. the face of the methylone gumball machine is to be labeled “unscheduled, > 99% pure” and equipped with a lock on it so as not to accept coins; in another, containers of 10mg MDMA, with the machine labeled “scheduled, purity unknown”; in another, 10mg O-Desmethyltramadol (3-[2-(1-Amino-1-methylethyl)-1-hydroxycyclohexyl]phenol) and labeled “unscheduled, >99% pure”; in another, 10mg raw opium, labeled “scheduled, purity unknown”; the fifth is to house containers of a powder made from blending all 50 some odd pages of the torture memos as signed by berkeley law professor john yoo, labeled “unscheduled, impure” and is to be unlocked and accepting of coins. when the installation has run its course, the $5 or so worth of coins are to be donated to pfc. bradley manning’s defense fund.
• repaint a portrait of marie antoinette, except from behind her, so as to showcase versailles’ interior. get a grant to visit versailles to do this.
• print bumperstickers that read “opinion”
• pick every lock on the case enclosing the HDTV displaying work in kroeber’s main entrance (which was stolen last year and replaced) and attach a new input source so that the TV plays a clip from le temp du loup in a loop, specifically the last two lines at the end of the film: “It’s enough that you really wanted it. I’ll tell everyone how brave you are” as a big fuck you to former and would be thieves. leave locks unhinged.